We’ve all heard this question before, and I’ve realized I never really had an answer up until recently.
The question is, “Are you happy?”
Three simple words, and yet, more than enough to send us into a perpetual cycle: walking down memory lane, with a cold bottle in one hand… Afterwards, insomnia, which is why the staring up the ceiling for hours and making friends with shadows on the wall (that’s what Rob Thomas said) happens.
“Am I happy?”
A simple sentence yet, for me, evokes a mix of emotions, just like that of a volcanic eruption.
And the more I think about answering the question only leads to more questions needing to be answered.
“What is happiness anyway? Why am I bothering myself with this question?”
What actually bothers me more, is why, long before, I never really have had any answer, until now.
Is it that I was avoiding such question after all? Or perhaps, is it because I feel a tinge of sadness everytime it hits me every 12 am of any random night?
Then finally I ask myself, is it really necessary to answer this question?
Obviously yes, because unfortunately, I have to answer the question for this post’s sake.
And to answer the question, “Am I happy?”, I have only one word.
Not happy, definitely not not-happy.
And so far in life, I can say that for a long time I’ve straddled the fine middle line of contentment.
Maybe not the answer you expected, but I hope someday, on this journey, I may find the true meaning of genuine happiness.
Because honestly, is it not happiness which we are all looking for after all?