I could already hear explosions everywhere, and it was just an hour before 2016. The scent of excitement and anticipation was beginning to fill the evening air, and I marveled at how it got heavier with every tick of the clock.
Facing nothing but the dull outburst of the firework, I decided to put myself in a reflective state with these words as an appetizer:
“What’s in it for me this year?”
Immediately, my thoughts went on like a roller coaster ride, like books rammed haphazardly into the bookshelves. But a sudden realization hit me.
‘What’s in it for me this year?’… that’s the same question I’ve been asking myself New Year after New Year.
And now, I have come to an understanding of this phenomenon, and it is that it stems from my tendency of being too patient for things to happen.
…Which apparently, in simpler terms translates to:
Waiting for nothing.
I admit that I am certainly good at being patient, may it be for something or to someone (I prefer to call it having a high-tolerance to someone). Perhaps, because I believe that, ‘good things come to those who wait’.
But a lot of things remain unchecked in my bucket list. My goals from last year and some from the past years stay as goals. It’s like what I wanted to happen remains as is.
And I am stuck.
Hence, waiting for nothing.
Or was it that I made the waiting an alibi to stop myself from taking risks? Or that I allowed my fears to consume and paralyze my spirit to avoid ‘defeat’?
There are always two sides of the same coin, and I’m a bit thankful that the other side has come to manifest itself.
I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. Why wait for the new year, when anytime is always an opportunity for change?
But I guess I shall have one to start off. Just one.
And hopefully I wouldn’t be asking the same question next time.
Get up and start moving!
(I choose to format it that way for more emphasis.)
And by that, I mean to make my way out of turtle express and take the first few tiny baby steps of making things — my dreams, goals whether short-term or long-term — happen.
And as to how to do that?
Wish me luck.